Cupid Was Drunk

Cupid was drunk when he shot his arrow at me. He must’ve been. Like, stumbling drunk. I’ve not been lucky in love. Well, that’s not entirely true… I have had several long-term relationships that were sometimes wonderful, sometimes not-so-wonderful, and I have loved and learned from them all. But I’m single now, and have been for a couple years (and by a “couple,” I mean more like five.) I’ve been single for five years! I guess the fact that 5 years went by so quickly is a testament to how full my life feels without a man. Don’t get me wrong — since my last relationship ended , I’ve dated men here and there, but nothing that developed into anything serious. And for the most part, I’m okay with that. I don’t want to be alone forever — and I need to do some work around that — but on the eve of Valentines Day, I’d actually like to focus on how awesome I think it is to be single on Valentines Day. Seriously. I have nothing against the holiday in general, but I personally have never had an interest in celebrating it myself, boyfriend or not. When Valentines Day rolls around and I do have a boyfriend? I’ve always told them the same thing: Do not buy me flowers. Don’t. I love flowers. But I don’t want to get them because it’s a valentines day requirement. I want them “just because.” And you know what? Particularly with my last boyfriend — the man who, so far, has been the Love of My Life — I got a lot of flowers. Just because. Just because he knows I love them and he loves me and wanted to express that. Isn’t that better than pressuring him on one day to do what he’s “supposed to” because some random holiday dictates it? And isn’t it terrible that this one random holiday makes a lot of single people suddenly feel like there’s something wrong with them because they’re single? (Like we don’t already get that message enough.)  Yeah.  This year, on Valentines Day, I propose that single folks celebrate being single.  Even if you don’t want to be single.  Try to focus on the positive.  Live your life as if you’re going to meet your soul mate tomorrow.  Use the time to discover new passions, or rekindle old ones (for me it’s running and video editing).  Take advantage of the freedom of being without a partner.  Be happy for those who are in love and celebrating that love on Valentines Day — but remember that a lot of those couples are more lonely than you are.  Because the relationship is not what they want it to be.  But they’d rather be in any relationship than be alone.  Take comfort in knowing you are open and free to meet a new partner.  The right partner.  Look forward to feeling the spark of a new romance.  The excitement of 1st, 2nd and 3rd dates.  Try not to feel crappy that you’re alone on a holiday celebrating love.  Try to feel proud, instead.  You’re doing it on your own.  Living life.  That’s not always easy and it takes a lot of courage and strength.  Be proud of that.   To quote one of my favorite movie characters (Janet Livermore) played by a terrific actress (Bridget Fonda) in a classic movie about being single (“Singles”):  “Being alone–there’s a certain dignity to it.”

Dignity, Indeed. Happy Valentines Day everybody!

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4 Comments

  1. I have often thought the same.

    Reply
  2. MR DETERMINED

     /  February 13, 2012

    Love your thoughts on Vals. I was thinking the same thing this year. It may be a holiday for love, but I think it could be your love for anything (your family, friends, running). My life is very full and I’m grateful for everthing (even being single). 🙂

    Reply
  3. Nice post and cool site. Wherever you are in life is exactly right. I love the idea of becoming the role model you seek. Nice!

    Reply

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